Depression and Social Media

I suffer from on-going Major Depressive Disorder. It is not something I would wish on any person. It is all encompassing and physically draining.

A man standing at the edge of a lake with dark skies.

I also happen to live with other traits and characteristics that do not help my experience with depression. I’m naturally introverted, prefer isolation, I’m awkward with relating to people outside of an acquaintance, I’m an extreme child-abuse survivor, I experience low self-esteem and I am just a sad person.

Juxtaposed to what I just said, and not being narcissistic, I’m one of the nicest people that you could ever hope to meet – I say that proudly and so do others I have met over the years.

Because I like to isolate, mostly out of fear of people hurting me, I found that social-media (at one time) was a good outlet – so that I may feel like I am a part of something – and perhaps feel wanted or needed just like other people. It started out fun! In fact, in 2016 I got my name on national prime-time television thanks to social-media. And, another time I was discovered by a radio DJ in the United Kingdom and two of my music compositions were played for a week in that country. And, I have had quite a few chuckles along the way with banter given by other social-media users.

As time went along, social-media seemed to change and as the months and years have gone-by I find it no longer appealing. I feel this way mostly because of the way other people treat me (and others) on social-media.

I have used the “3-pillars” of social-media (Facebook, Instagram and Twitter) and I’m knowledgeable with navigating the platforms and using them to increase my exposure to whatever goal I wanted to achieve. That being said, it is not enough.

I have found just over the past year, there seems to be more anger, belittling of other people and uncaring attitudes from a vast number of users on these social-media platforms. None of these things I mention do anything to help my personal situation. To this day I have yet to have any meaningful conversation with any social-media user which, again does not improve my situation.

I have deleted my Facebook account and my Instagram account and will hopefully not return. I keep my Twitter account active only because I have invested much time in some projects that Twitter can sustain. I have found I cannot put any trust in Twitter with regard to developing any friendships. I am in the process of training myself not to focus too much on tweets from users of that platform. And, most users of Twitter could care less whether I live or die – so why even go there?

There are other social-media platforms that are more focused on a niche market that I do utilize. Since I like to make music and share it with people around the world, I like to utilize Radio Airplay which is in-essence social media using music. A few years ago I managed to get some of my music heard by at least one individual in 92 countries! That is quite different than the “3-pillars” experience, where I am mostly ignored. And there are many other platforms aside from the ones mentioned here.

All-in-all, I find that the “3-pillars” of social-media do not work for me; they may work for others, just not me due to my personal situation. In the end, for me, social-media is about being wanted, being needed, feeling camaraderie, experiencing humanity as I would expect in-real-life.

I hope you have yourself a great day. Floyd

Published by Floyd Kelly

I'm a simple man living in a rural mountainous area of Northeast Washington state (US). I like to blog, create music, create 3D graphics/videos and take care of my wonderful dog.

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